300 Days In

     Today I happened upon the fact that we are exactly 300 days in to 2021. Remember when we weren't sure we would make it through 2020? 

    300 days in means we are 65 days away from 2022. That's so surreal to me. When I look back at what the world has been through these passed few years, and what we're still going through, it feels strange to think that we all made it here. I got to thinking what it was that allowed us to make it this far. I decided the answer is each other. 

    When I think back to the beginning of the pandemic, when we were all so unsure and so many people were dying, I think about all the selfless things everyone did. I think about how we all stuck together and supported each other. We celebrated everyone- from grocery store workers, to home care employees, to nurses, to technicians. We believed in each other and we loved each other. That's something I'll never forget. I hope when we tell the next generation the stories of the pandemic, we don't focus so much on the painful parts; let's focus on the beauty of it. Let's not remember the astronomical price of hand sanitizer; let's remember when we all treated one another like heroes. 

    Now in 2021, we face more problems. The whole country is short staffed, stores can't keep food on the shelves, and terrorism is wrecking lives across the world. In the face of all this, I want the world to remember what got us through 2020. Instead of complaining about the wait at the grocery store, thank the workers who are there trying their best. Instead of taking everything you can while it's still there, take what you need for yourself, and give some to a neighbor. 

    My hope for the remainder of 2021 is that we all remember to keep the love in our hearts that got us here. Let's carry it into the new year and see the positive change it can make. 

Halfway there

     Halfway through the semester?! How did I even get here? It's been a heck of road. This was my very first time on my own- it's been exciting, terrifying, frustrating, wonderful, eye opening, and an overall adventure. 

    The first thing I can say is that I've never appreciated free food quite the way I do now. My parents house means seeing my family and my dogs and that's wonderful, but it also means a fridge full of free food and that is indescribable. It also means I don't have to pay two dollars to wash six T shirts and some socks.

    I'm also living in a city! To those who've lived here for many years, it may not seem like a big city, but to a girl who has spent all her life in a place with a single stop light and town curfew of ten o clock, this is pretty big. I've never experienced traffic like this before... I hate that. I'm working on getting used to it. I love not having to drive half an hour for groceries, though. 

    I've really enjoyed getting to know my roommates and new classmates and overall, the experience of being on my own has been a good one. It hasn't been without its challenges, though. I'm having to try to keep my head above water health wise and that's not easy. That has been one of the most difficult things I've dealt with. My health was never easy but not having my mom on my back every five seconds has proven to be less of a joy than I thought it would be. I'm struggling pretty heavily. 

    I'm halfway through, though and I'm alive. Those are two pretty positive outcomes. I think with time, things will only get better and I'm excited to see where things go from here. 

Group Projects

     I have never been a fan of group projects. I've always been the one to take control; even if my group mates were capable of completing their tasks, I tended to feel that I needed to do everything in order for it to get done. Coming into class and hearing that we would be starting a group project was not music to my ears. 

    I know that the issues I have with group work are my own, however. I know that I need to learn to let go of control where possible and understand that many student want to succeed just like I do.

    I have a good feeling about this project. Knowing I need to work on my own behavior during group work and seeing that my current group mates are all very intelligent, dedicated ladies has me feeling very optimistic. I think I'll be able to use this project to learn more about how to function in a group setting and allow others to contribute. 

    I'm excited to see where this goes and I think my group will be able to make this a positive experience for all of us. 

Pride!

     There was a torrential downpour, an unexpected dance for a drag queen with excellent hair, an exceptionally long train ride, a little stalking, and some really bad subway.

    I went to my first pride fest! As noted above, it was a loaded experience. Like most trips to Chicago, my roommates and I thought we had it all planned. We knew which train to get on, where to get off at what time, and where to walk from there. We were incorrect. What actually happened, instead of a smooth journey to the festival, was this: three college kids got off of one train, realized they were in over their heads, and began following anyone in rainbow attire in hopes they were headed in the same direction. 

    A good walk, some light stalking, and a second train later, we arrived. It was beautiful. There's just something so special about seeing people finally able to freely be who they are and celebrate that. Everyone was dancing and so happy. There was just a feeling in the air that we could all really feel. It was incredible. 

    We found ourselves in the audience of a drag show (Which was incredible, I might add). The woman leading the show eventually asked for volunteers to come on stage. Something, I still don't know what, must've come over my introverted self because I found my hand was raised... She called me to the stage along with a few others and I looked out onto a sea of faces far larger than I expected. The crowd had grown exponentially since we first arrived, and I became a little nervous. Not quite as nervous as I became, though, when she announced we would be participating in a dance competition. I then felt like maybe I should take of running and not turn back. One by one, contestants went center stage, my heart beating a little faster with every new dancer, knowing my turn was coming. 

    I can't dance. Not at all. It's not visually pleasing when I do. I'm not fun to look at. Seeing no way out, though, I strutted up to center stage and flailed around till the music stopped, hoping what I was doing maybe had a little comedic value in the least. When it was all said and done and I was safely back in the audience, I was glad I did it. Did I look fabulous? Heavens, no. But I did something I found to be rather terrifying and I made it out with a pretty fun memory. 

    Not long after the show, it started to downpour and my friends and I spent the next hour or so huddled under what ever ledges we could find, till we found a booth selling ponchos and decided to make our way back. It was a long way back. In the interest of keeping this blog post shorter than our journey home, let me just say that we got on the wrong train, rode to the opposite side of the city, boarded another train, rode all the way back, got off, got lost looking for the next train, eventually found the station after a cold walk in the again pouring rain, and headed inside. 

    Once inside the train station, cold, wet, and hungry, I ate some really bad subway and we all boarded our final train home. 

    Looking back on the day, nothing really went as planned. I spent far more money than I anticipated, my stomach still hates me for the subway food, and I came home with very wet shoes, but I don't think I would trade any of it. All of the misadventures made for a day I'll never forget. The festival itself was beautiful and a wonderful experience- something I plan on attending for many years to come. I met some really sweet people that allowed me to stalk them for a couple hours so we could get where we needed to go and I learned that life really doesn't always have to go as planned for it turn out just right.