"I would rather have 30 minutes of wonderful than a whole lifetime of nothing special"

    This week involved a lot of firsts for me: my first move, my first time living without my parents, and my first real performance outside of high school. After graduating high school and deciding to attend IUN, I was very disappointed with the college experience. What I was always told would be the time of my life was nothing more than a few tired professors assigning busy work before sending us on our way. I decided I needed something else in my life. I felt like I was only getting by, doing what I was told, going to bed, and waking up to do it all over again. 

    When auditions opened for Steel Magnolias, a show centered around a diabetic in her 20s, it felt like a sign. I was made for that role. You see, I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes at 5 years old and have struggled with it ever since. I'm not a normal diabetic- my diabetes came with a string of other illnesses and the diabetes itself has never been well managed. 16 years following the diagnosis, and three doctors later, I'm still faced with a disease that threatens my life and impacts me every single day. 

    But here's the good news: I got the part! I was absolutely thrilled! Once I found out, I was told by the directors to watch the movie and get an idea of what dialect they wanted my character to speak in... That's when I discovered how the show ends. Spoiler alert: my character dies... from complications of her diabetes. 

    Finding this out made the role a litter harder to swallow. Of course, I was still delighted to be on stage, but I wasn't sure how dying of diabetes every night was going to affect my mental health. To make things a bit tougher, I was diagnosed with Diabetic Retinopathy, the slow degeneration of the eyes due to diabetic instability, that week. Needless to say, I was having a hard time. 

    Now here comes the good part. In the middle of all this, I began the process of moving on campus. I was welcomed by incredible roommates, classes I actually enjoyed, and new friends. As for the show, it was going so smoothly. I gained new friends in my cast mates and felt the rush of being on stage every night. Little by little I began to realize how lucky I was. I have a wonderful family, I'm having a wonderful experience in college, and I'm fortunate to be playing a role that does suit my situation. I was learning from my character, as crazy as that sounds. One of the most impactful lines in the show, and the title of this post comes from her: "I would rather have 30 minutes of wonderful than a whole lifetime of nothing special." 

    Yes, I struggle with my health. I wasn't born with a body that works the way it should. But I'm living the life now that the Izzy who was miserable after high school dreamed of. Maybe I won't live to be 70 years old, but I can guarantee the years I do live will be something really special.